Foundations of Treating Family and Companions — Lesson 8
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Peace be upon you, and Allah's mercy and blessings.
All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and utmost blessings and peace.
Upon the one sent as a mercy to all worlds, and all his house and companions.
Now then, O noble brothers and sisters.
We continue our discussion about our Prophet ﷺ with his family.
And I ask Allah ﷻ to benefit us through what we say and hear.
The Prophet ﷺ would allow his wives to do what was permissible.
Our mother Aisha (RA) said.
One day, I saw the Messenger of Allah ﷺ at the door of his chamber.
while the Abyssinians were playing in the mosque.
They were playing with their spears, saying this in their language.
"Muhammad is a righteous man. Muhammad is a righteous man."
She said: Abyssinians played in the mosque.
and the Messenger of Allah ﷺ screened me with his cloak.
so I could watch their play. Narrated by al-Bukhari.
In Muslim's version, she said: "By Allah...".
By Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah ﷺ standing at his chamber door.
while the Abyssinians played with spears in the Prophet's Mosque.
He screened me with his cloak so I could watch their play.
Then he would stand for my sake. That is, remain standing.
for my sake, not leaving until I was the one to leave.
So consider a young girl, still young and eager for play.
She (RA) also said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was seated.
then we heard children's voices.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ rose, and the Abyssinians were performing.
Meaning, they played and said in their tongue, 'Muhammad is a good man.'
He said, 'Aisha, come and look.'
Men were playing. He ﷺ said, 'Aisha, come watch.'
She said, 'So I came and placed my cheek on the Prophet's ﷺ shoulder.'
Then I began watching them from between his shoulder and head.
That is, between his shoulder and ear, looking from behind him.
And he ﷺ was covering Aisha (RA) with his cloak.
He said to me, 'Have you had enough? Have you had enough?'
She said, 'I kept saying: no, I had not had enough.'
She (RA) said, 'It was to see my standing with him.'
And so people could see her status with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
Then Umar appeared. She said, "The people scattered."
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.
I can see the devils of men and jinn have fled from Umar.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, and authenticated by al-Albani.
This was on Eid day. There were Abyssinians, called al-Sudan.
They played with spears in the Prophet's Mosque ﷺ, chanting.
"Muhammad is a righteous man." "Muhammad is a righteous man."
Then the Prophet ﷺ said to Aisha, "Would you like to watch? Come and see."
So the Prophet ﷺ stood at the door and screened her with his cloak.
Then she came up behind the Prophet ﷺ. And pressed her cheek against his.
And she looked between
his ear and shoulder until she grew tired, RA.
So he said to her, "Go then."
The Prophet ﷺ was accommodating to his family in permissible matters.
And this is Sunnah.
It was narrated from Aisha (RA) that she said.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ returned from an expedition to Tabuk or Khaybar.
And in her alcove was a curtain, meaning, a curtain in her room.
She said: a wind blew and uncovered one side of the curtain.
revealing Aisha's dolls.
Meaning, in the room was an alcove, like a recess, with a curtain on it.
A wind blew, and the curtain lifted.
Then the Prophet ﷺ saw the toys and said, "What is this, O Aisha?"
She said, "My dolls."
And this was girls' play before these devices came and corrupted people.
Girls used to play with what suited girls, and boys with what suited boys.
Now a girl plays with a boy. She said, “My dolls.”
He saw among them a horse with two wings of cloth scraps.
He said, “What is this that I see among them?”
She said, “A horse.” She was very young then, RA.
He said, “And what is on it?” She said, “Two wings.”
He said, “A horse with two wings? A horse that has two wings?”
She said, “Haven't you heard that Solomon had winged horses like this?”
She said, “He laughed till I saw his molars.” ﷺ.
Narrated by Abu Dawud and authenticated by al-Albani.
Aisha RA said, “I used to play with dolls.”
Of course, 'banat' means dolls.
Girls used to make them until recently.
They would take a stick, then another crosswise, as if the top were a head.
And that meant the hands, then put a dress on it and play.
She said: I used to play with dolls in the Prophet's presence ﷺ.
Meaning, while I was with the Prophet ﷺ and was his wife.
And I had playmates who used to play with me.
When the Messenger of Allah ﷺ entered, they would hide themselves from him.
When he came or went, they hid from him in some houses.
They felt shy before him ﷺ, for modesty is girls' nature.
When we saw the Prophet ﷺ come or go, they would shy away into some houses.
She said: Then he would send them to me.
Meaning, he'd call them: "Come in, come in, come in."
then they would play with me. Agreed upon.
So the Prophet ﷺ would call the young girls.
so they would come in and play with Aisha (RA).
So he permitted what was lawful and was gentle with his wives in it.
as long as the matter was not unlawful. If his wife wanted it, he'd go along.
This is part of good companionship and good character.
Jabir (RA) said about the Prophet ﷺ with Aisha (RA):
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was an easygoing man.
He was easygoing: if she wanted something, he went along with her.
Narrated by Muslim in the Sahih. Part of good conduct is, if a wife asks
A matter that is not forbidden and involves no harm.
The husband should do as she wants or apologize if he has an excuse.
And this is what makes life pleasant.
Though he was the Prophet ﷺ of the Ummah, he helped his family at home.
He ﷺ never considered it beneath him.
He would serve his family and do housework.
Al-Aswad said: I asked Aisha (RA).
What did the Prophet ﷺ do in his house?
She said: He would be in his family's service, serving his family.
When it was time for prayer, he went out to pray.
Look at the balance: his wife did not distract him from prayer.
But when he was at home.
He would serve his family.
Reported in Sahih al-Bukhari.
He gave it the chapter heading: 'A man serving his family.'
Chapter: A man serving his family. 'His family' is also correct.
And the phrase means serving his family.
From the explanation of Adam ibn Abi Iyas, al-Bukhari's shaykh.
And from Aisha (RA): she said, when asked.
Aisha (RA) was asked: What did Allah's Messenger ﷺ do at home?
She said: He was human, like other human beings.
He would mend his clothes, milk his sheep, and serve himself.
Ahmad narrated it. Al-Albani graded it sahih.
'Urwah (RA) said: I asked Aisha, O Mother of the Believers.
What would the Messenger of Allah ﷺ do when he was with you? She said:
What any of you does in serving his family.
He mended his sandals, sewed his garment, and patched his bucket.
Related by Ibn Hibban. Authenticated by al-Albani.
Ibn Battal said: Al-Muhallab said.
This was among his actions ﷺ as an act of humility.
and prescribed that for his community.
So it is from the Sunnah— and he continued:
So it is from the Sunnah for a person to do his own chores.
at home, in what he needs for the affairs of worldly life.
Ibn Hajar said.
And in another narration, Harithah ibn Abi al-Rijal from 'Amrah.
from Aisha, in Abu Sa'd's narration.
He was the gentlest of people.
And the most generous of people.
He was a man like your men.
Except that he was always smiling.
He ﷺ was the gentlest in his home and the most generous of people.
And he was a man among men.
But he was all smiles, all smiles, meaning, he smiled often.
Manliness does not mean scowling.
Manliness does not mean scowling.
The Prophet ﷺ was always smiling.
So the Prophet ﷺ—though he was the Prophet ﷺ and was elderly.
He ﷺ used to help his family in the house.
So this is from the Sunnah, from kindness, and good conduct.
that a man help his wife at home with whatever he can do well.
Even if he did only a little, it would bring much joy.
If he were to lift up a plate.
and put it back in its place in the kitchen.
that would greatly delight the wife.
And the Prophet ﷺ openly declared his love for Aisha (RA) by name.
Amr ibn al-As (RA) reported.
The Prophet ﷺ sent him in command of the army of Dhat al-Salasil.
He said, I came to him and asked, "Who among the people is dearest to you?"
He said, "Aisha." I asked, "Then who among the men?"
He said, "Her father." He did not say, "Abu Bakr."
This was gentleness from him ﷺ. To bring joy to Aisha's heart (RA).
He said, "Her father." I asked, "Then who?"
He said, "Then Umar ibn al-Khattab," and he named other men.
Narrated by al-Bukhari in the Sahih.
Some men.
Some men withhold from their wives a word of affection, kindness, and love.
even at home, let alone outside the home.
Those who deal with family issues.
They find that one of today's greatest problems is emotional dryness.
A woman needs a tender, gentle heart.
And a gentle tongue. She needs to hear it from her husband.
Some men say love is action. And that is true.
But the tongue expresses it.
For women, such words have an effect.
This is part of kindness and perfection in a man.
When needed, he openly declares his love for his wife.
When he is with his wife, he shows his affection and love in word and deed.
The Prophet ﷺ would honor his offspring.
We have now finished the examples of how he was with his wives.
We now move to how he was with his offspring.
The Prophet ﷺ honored his offspring.
He played with them and brought them joy.
Aisha, Mother of the Believers (RA), said.
I never saw anyone more like Allah's Messenger ﷺ in conduct
and in bearing, rising, and sitting than Fatimah, his daughter.
By Allah, we love her. May Allah be pleased and please her.
She said: Whenever she came to the Prophet ﷺ, he stood for her.
He kissed her and seated her in his seat.
And when the Prophet ﷺ came to her, she rose from her seat.
She kissed him and seated him in her seat.
Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi reported it; al-Albani graded it sahih.
Look at the Prophet's ﷺ gentleness with his daughter.
When she entered and came to him, he ﷺ stood up for her.
He kissed her and seated her in his place.
And she did the same with the Prophet ﷺ when he came to her.
Aishah (RA) said: Fatimah came walking.
As though her gait was the gait of the Prophet ﷺ.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Welcome, my daughter."
"Welcome, my daughter," then seated her on his right or left.
Agreed upon. He would stand for her, kiss her, and honor her in the gathering.
He welcomed her as she liked: "Welcome, my daughter."
Abdullah ibn Shaddad narrated from his father, who said.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ came out to us in 1 of the 2 night prayers.
while carrying Hasan or Husayn.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ came forward and set him down.
Then he said the takbir for prayer and prayed.
In the middle of the prayer, he made one prostration and prolonged it.
That is, longer than the others. My father said, so I raised my head.
I feared something had happened to the Prophet ﷺ.
He said, So I raised my head.
and saw the child on the back of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ in sujud.
So I returned to my prostration. When the Prophet ﷺ finished the prayer.
The people said, O Messenger of Allah, you prostrated in prayer.
It was a prostration you prolonged till we thought something happened.
Or that revelation came to you.
He said: Nothing happened; no revelation came to me.
"But my son climbed onto my back."
"So I disliked hurrying him until he was done."
Allah is greatest. He was leading the people in prayer.
When Hasan and Husayn got onto his back.
The Prophet ﷺ held still and prostrated longer.
Why? He did not want to hurry him.
He was not afraid he would fall. No, he did not want to hurry him.
He prolonged his prostration because the boy was playing.
A child likes to climb onto his father's back, for example.
So the Prophet ﷺ disliked hurrying him. Picture this, brothers.
If one of us were an imam or a follower in prayer.
and put his son beside him, then in prostration, he climbed on him.
Allah knows best: he would throw him off while praying.
And when the prayer was over, may Allah help the boy.
Indeed, the Prophet ﷺ, while he was leading.
would lengthen the prostration only because he ﷺ disliked rushing.
al-Hasan or al-Husayn until he had finished what he wanted.
in his play on the Prophet ﷺ's back.
Narrated by al-Nasa'i and authenticated by al-Albani.
Abu Qatadah al-Ansari said: I saw the Prophet ﷺ leading the people
with Umamah bint Abi al-'As.
She was Zaynab's daughter, the Prophet ﷺ's granddaughter.
on his shoulder— the Prophet ﷺ's shoulder.
When he bowed, he put her on the ground.
When he rose from prostration, he put her back onto the Prophet ﷺ's shoulder.
Narrated by Muslim. His children.
The Prophet ﷺ led them in prayer.
He ﷺ kept her on his shoulder while praying; when bowing, set her down.
When he stood, he lifted her again onto his shoulder ﷺ.
Abu Hurayrah (RA) said.
The Prophet ﷺ used to stick out his tongue to Hasan ibn Ali.
What is yudalli'? Showing his tongue.
The Prophet ﷺ would stick out his tongue to Hasan ibn Ali.
The child would see the redness of his tongue and rush to him.
Reported by al-Baghawi. Al-Albani said in al-Sahihah.
It was narrated by Abu al-Shaykh Ibn Hibban.
in the book The Prophet's ﷺ Character and Etiquette.
He also mentioned it in the book Akhlaq al-Nabi ﷺ wa Adabihi.
He cited its chain and said, "This is a hasan chain."
Whenever the Prophet ﷺ saw al-Hasan (RA), he stuck out his tongue.
When a child saw the redness of the Prophet's ﷺ tongue, he'd rush.
This is what the Prophet ﷺ did in front of the people.
Ibn Mas'ud (RA) said: The Prophet ﷺ would pray.
while al-Hasan and al-Husayn would jump on his back.
Al-Hasan and al-Husayn would pass by, and people moved them away.
Then the Prophet ﷺ said, "Leave them."
By their father and my mother, whoever loves me must love these two.
And we ask Allah ﷻ to witness that we love them.
Ibn Hibban narrated it. Al-Albani: hasan.
The Prophet ﷺ would pray a voluntary prayer.
Then al-Hasan would come when he prostrated and climb on his back.
Al-Husayn too would come and climb on his back in sajdah.
So people would move them away as people usually do with children.
When he finished the first prayer the Prophet ﷺ said, "Leave them both."
"Leave them both." This is the Prophet ﷺ in prayer, not idle.
Anas ibn Malik said: The Prophet ﷺ played with Zaynab, Umm Salama's daughter.
He would say, "O Zuwaynib, O Zuwaynib." Again and again.
Al-Diya recorded it in al-Mukhtarah; Al-Albani: sahih.
And from Abu Hurayrah RA.
He said: I went out with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ for part of the day.
He did not speak to me, nor I to him, until Banu Qaynuqa's market.
This is the wording I have. Then he turned away.
until he came to Fatimah's tent.
He said: Is the boy here? Is the boy here?
meaning al-Hasan.
He said, we thought his mother was only keeping him back.
to wash him and dress him, but he soon came running.
until each of them embraced the other.
Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.
"O Allah, I love him, so love him, and love whoever loves him."
Reported by Muslim in Sahih Muslim. The Prophet ﷺ used to ask.
Is the little rascal there? meaning: al-Hasan; he wanted him.
When al-Hasan came out to him, the Prophet ﷺ embraced him.
And al-Hasan embraced the Prophet ﷺ.
The Prophet ﷺ used to kiss al-Hasan and al-Husayn.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah RA that he said.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed al-Hasan ibn Ali.
And al-Aqra' ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting with him.
Al-Aqra' said, 'I have ten children, and I have not kissed any of them.'
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ looked at him, then said.
Who shows no mercy will be shown none.
Agreed upon.
And it was narrated from Ya'la ibn Murrah.
They went out with the Prophet ﷺ after being invited to a meal.
Then Husayn was playing in the street.
He said: The Prophet ﷺ went ahead of the people and stretched out his hands.
The boy kept running away from him, here and there.
The Prophet ﷺ kept amusing him until he caught him.
Then he put one hand under his chin, and the other
on top of his head, then kissed him.
Ibn Majah narrated it. Al-Albani: hasan.
When the Prophet ﷺ saw him in the street, he did as kind men do
when they see a child, they come as if they want to catch him.
The child goes this way and that. This is what he ﷺ did.
The Prophet ﷺ would play with him and make him laugh.
Part of the Prophet's ﷺ conduct with his family was this.
He would correct them.
He would teach them, raise them, and command them to obey.
Aisha (RA) said: I said to the Prophet ﷺ.
“Safiyyah is such-and-such.” Meaning: she was short.
He said, “You have uttered a word.
If mixed with the sea's water, it would contaminate it.”
She said, “I mimicked someone for him.”
He said, “I would not like to mimic anyone for such-and-such.”
Narrated by Abu Dawud. Also in Sahih al-Jami'.
If the Prophet ﷺ learned that one of his household had lied.
He would keep turning away from them until they repented of it.
Al-Albani: authentic.
Aisha RA said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to me.
'O Aisha, beware of minor sins. For Allah will call them to account.'
Narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Majah. Authenticated by al-Albani.
Women need reminding of this grave matter. Indeed, everyone needs it.
This issue is dangerous, brothers. It is being lax with minor sins.
Some do what is unlawful. If told, they say, 'Brother, it's not major.'
This has become common in our time. And even more so among women.
Some women, when told: 'Don't do this; it's not allowed.'
She says, 'Major?' Meaning: 'If it's major, yes, I'll stop.'
But if it's minor, there's no harm; I'll do it.
The Prophet ﷺ taught Aisha (RA) and warned her, saying, 'O Aisha...'
"Aisha, beware of petty deeds, for they have a claimant with Allah."
That is how a husband should be. That is how a father should be.
He warns against sins, minor and major.
Especially the matter of being lax about minor sins.
Aisha (RA) said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to pray at night.
When he prayed witr, he would say. "Get up and pray witr, Aisha."
Muslim narrated it in the Sahih. He told Aisha (RA) to obey and pray witr.
He used to pray eleven rak'ahs at night.
When he prayed witr, he woke Aisha (RA) and said, 'Rise, Aisha, pray witr.'
Aisha RA narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to her.
"O Aisha, protect yourself from the Fire, even with half a date."
"For it satisfies the hungry as much as it satisfies the full."
Reported by Ahmad and graded hasan by al-Albani.
The Prophet ﷺ used to command Aisha to do every good.
He would say, "O Aisha, protect yourself from the Fire."
How much we all need someone to remind us of this, especially women.
For most of the people of the Fire are women.
Ali RA narrated: Allah's Messenger ﷺ came to Ali and Fatimah, his own daughter.
One night, he said: "Will you not pray? Will you not rise at night to pray?"
I said, O Messenger of Allah, our souls are in Allah's hand.
If He wills to wake us, He wakes us.
He turned away when we said that and did not reply to me.
Then I heard him as he left striking his thigh and saying.
"But man is ever most quarrelsome." Narrated by al-Bukhari.
The Prophet ﷺ instructed them, his own family, to pray at night.
Ali (RA) said: The matter is in Allah's hand.
And our souls are in Allah's hand. If He wills, He withholds them.
If He wills, He releases them, then we rise and pray.
And this was a kind of argument. The Prophet ﷺ did not reply to him.
And he left, reciting this verse.
Anas ibn Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said.
"O Fatimah, what prevents you from hearing what I advise you?"
"What prevents you from hearing what I advise you?"
"To say in the morning and in the evening."
"O Ever-Living, O Sustainer, in Your mercy I seek relief."
Set right all my affairs for me, and do not leave me
to myself for the blink of an eye.
By al-Bazzar, al-Nasa'i in al-Kubra, and al-Hakim; graded hasan by al-Albani.
So the Prophet ﷺ says to Fatimah, one of his household—his daughter.
"O Fatimah, what prevents you from hearing what I advise you?"
"That you say such and such." The Prophet ﷺ used to teach his family.
guide them to what is good and command them to obey.
The Prophet ﷺ corrected them if they erred. So should a man.
A man should be gentle in conduct guiding to the religion of Allah ﷻ.
He strives to shield his family from the Fire.
He teaches them. When he learns, he teaches them.
If he gains a benefit, he shares it with his family.
And he commands them to good.
As a command of obligation or recommendation, as warranted.
And he reproves their wrongdoing.
He strives to help guide them.
Perhaps we should stop here and pray Maghrib, Allah willing.
Then return for the final session. Allah willing, we will speak in it.
About the Prophet ﷺ. With his Companions. May Allah aid all.
Allah Most High knows best. May Allah bless our Prophet ﷺ.