A Beautiful Clarification on Serving One's Husband

Is it true that a wife's duties do not include cooking, washing, and the like.

in her husband's home, and that serving him is only an act of kindness?

And would refusing housework count as disobeying her husband?

May Allah reward you.

All praise is for Allah ﷻ.

As for what was mentioned in the question, some fuqaha said it.

But it is the weaker view, for two reasons.

The first is that Allah ﷻ says, "And live with them in kindness."

And He says, "For them are rights just as they have duties, fairly."

Custom means what people customarily do.

among Muslims, so long as it does not contradict the Sharia of Allah ﷻ.

So the wife is obliged.

to live with her husband as is customary.

so long as it does not oppose Allah's law.

This has been Muslims' custom, both in the past and the present.

A woman serves her husband.

And she serves her husband fully at home.

How can married life be pleasant? And how can it be in kindness?

if a woman does not serve her husband?

Allah ﷻ says, "Live with them in kindness."

And women have rights similar to their duties, in kindness.

This proves that a woman must.

do for her husband what is customary.

without extravagance or stinginess. That is, without excess or neglect.

We have mentioned the custom of Muslims since the Prophet ﷺ.

Until this day, a woman serves her husband.

The second point is that the Prophet ﷺ ordered a woman to obey her husband.

And he stressed this.

He said, "If I were to command anyone to prostrate to another.

I would command a woman to prostrate to her husband.

Because of his great right over her."

And if a man orders his wife to do something and she does not do it.

If he grows angry with her, the Merciful's angels are angry with her.

So the husband commands her to serve him. It is obligatory for her to obey him.

This is the Sharia ruling. It is the majority view, and correct.

One case is excepted from this.

If the woman is among those for whom it is customary not to serve.

That is an exception, because it falls outside the custom.

So if the woman is from a family with an established custom in that town.

That the people of a house, or its women, for rank or the like, do not serve.

Then she is exempt from this.

Then I say: one who speaks to people must be a faqih.

Not everything one knows should be said.

Rather, one who speaks to people should seek what betters their lives.

and spread happiness in families, for family happiness is desired.

How can there be happiness between a husband and his wife?

And you hear one speaking of knowledge, or seeming to be learned.

telling her, "You need not serve your husband." Then he comes for food.

She says, "By Allah, the shaykh says I need not serve you."

Where will the love and affection required by Sharia be among spouses?

Where will kind marital conduct be?

This contradicts the aims of the Sharia. So, brothers, this is fiqh, real fiqh.

Do not spread everything you know.

Rather, spread what fulfills the Lawgiver's objectives.

Some people, and Allah is our help, know little or lack good judgment.

He goes and reads books. If he finds something odd, he shows it to people.

And he says, "The scholars said it." Yes, some scholars did say it.

But it yields no good among people.

So there is one point, brothers, that I always mention:

When a person wants to speak, he must consider three matters.

The first matter is that the speech must be true.

It must be established and conform to the Sharia.

Not everything some jurists said is supported by the evidence.

The second point is that the intent be sound.

Your aim in speaking should be for the sake of Allah ﷻ.

Do not let your aim be to win over women.

Do not let your aim be to win people with strange things they do not know.

Rather, let your aim be for the sake of Allah ﷻ.

The third point is that speech be sound in its effect.

Thus it should truly bear fruit, spread good, and point to good.

If speech leads to greater harm than the benefit it brings.

Then it is not permissible to say it or spread it.

This point should be clarified.

And I say, O husbands and wives.

Let your principle be living together in kindness.

Let it be the home's happiness and tranquility. By Allah.

No heart will be at peace until the home is at peace.

And the heart will not be at peace nor will the home be at peace.

Only when the family unites on Allah's Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger ﷺ.

And on love and living together in kindness.

I have two printed booklets. One is called Causes of Family Happiness.

The other is called Rights of the Spouses.

I based it on proofs from the Book and the Sunnah.

I hope there is good in it for families. Allah knows best.