How to Seek Pardon for Violating a Muslim's Honor

How to seek pardon for violating a Muslim's honor.

If the offender violated his honor through zina or liwat.

Whether by force or deception.

Repentance and its conditions.

If it concerns the rights of Allah ﷻ.

Regretting what has passed and giving up the sin.

And resolving never to return to it.

But if it concerns people's rights, scholars say its conditions are three.

Along with restoring the rights or seeking release from them.

This needs elaboration.

If the right is financial or similar.

Then it must be returned to its owner.

If he knows who its owner is.

But he need not tell him, for example that he stole it or that it was from him.

If he put it in an envelope and wrote, 'This money is yours.'

One of your brothers owed you this, and has returned it to you.

And put it inside your car.

Or he put it where you can reach it, the objective is achieved.

And he need not identify himself or reveal himself.

And if he does not know him, such as if he went away and vanished.

Then he gives it in charity on his behalf.

He resolves that whenever he sees him, he will return it to him.

But if the right was non-material, such as backbiting him or insulting him.

Then, if the person wronged had learned of his transgression.

If he knew he backbit or insulted him, or the like, he must seek pardon.

He must go to him and ask his pardon for it.

However.

If the wronged person did not know he backbit him in a gathering.

Or insulted him without him knowing.

It seems to me—and Allah knows best— that he should not go to him.

Rather, he should pray for him and mention him well.

Because going to him would cause enmity and hatred.

And the purpose is not achieved by that except in one case.

If he knows him to be reasonable and of good nature.

that if he told him, he would pardon him.

and no enmity would arise between them, then he seeks his pardon.

If Allah knows the sinner's sincerity in repentance.

and that he prayed for his brother and mentioned him well.

then Allah ﷻ will make his brother pleased with him, if Allah ﷻ wills.

As for when the offense was zina.

Or sodomy or the like.

Then he repents and urges the one who did this act with him to repent.

This is a shared crime. It involved both parties.

As for the one subjected to this act, if it was not by coercion or deceit.

It seems to me—and Allah ﷻ knows best—that no pardon is required.

Rather, what is called for here is advice and urging repentance.

But if this was done by coercion or deceit.

Then he should ask the one to whom this was done to pardon him for it.

One point remains here: zina.

It also involves another right: the husband's, if she is married.

And the guardian's right if she is not married.

So should he tell the husband and seek pardon? The answer is no.

Unless that resulted in a child and he was certain it was his.

Otherwise, apart from that, he prays and seeks forgiveness for him.

And Allah ﷻ knows best.

All praise.